Toby, you pink-pants-suit-wearing killjoy. Why can't you just go back to creating miniature art or not having marital relations with the Professor. (I know, wtf, right? but apparently that's what she's supposed to be doing. http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/mworth/charactMaina.htm )

First she crushes Mary Worth's joy in her new friend, deflates her insane, misguided sense of self-importance and goodness for picking up a cute dog, and then has the audacity to offer to help her put up signs like she's Mary's friend. She crazy. Not sure why she's doing this. Check out her fake smile in panel two. (on your own, as my computer is acting up.)

Mary was happy with Chester. He was her gift. Dr. Jeff Cory and his two-toned hair don't make her happy or she would have married his ass by now. She's only using him for free meals at the Bum Boat, and obviously she can't count on his screw-up kids like she would be able to count on Chester. I had a moment of true sadness in anticipation of the long, drawn-out goodbye in our future. Tears may be shed at The Hemingway Complex.

But, since we are an incurable optimist when it comes to love and Mary Worth, let's look on the bright side.

1. This epic journey is sure to introduce us to more and more insane characters, and maybe Mary will fall in love with one of them. Perhaps the portly fellow romping with that other dog who looked like the Professor. He could come back to Charterstone, and then the authors would be totally screwed because they wouldn't know how to draw them to look different except dog dude would be wearing a sweatshirt and have longer hair. and a dog. Whereas the professor would be wearing a suit and being more arrogant and maybe drunk. Plus a Mary/Dr. Dunce Corey/random weirdo love triangle would be sweet.

2. Well, at least maybe now we can stop hearing about how good and charitable Mary is and what a big heart she has. That was getting on my last nerve. Except maybe not, because now she's all, finding his real owners is the Right Thing To Do. Giving is Better Than Receiving. I'm too nauseated to think of any more cliches. I'll let Mary thing of them for me over the next two-three weeks. Looking forward to a Thanksgiving platitude of some kind.

Also, I saw Chester in my neighbor's garage three days ago. He was playing ball with some kids and he looked v. happy.