yes!!!

the hemingway complex is so psyched!! back in 2007, the hemingway complex confessed that, in desperation, the hemingway complex would turn to the insane female characters of mary worth as models to navigate the dating world. vera and dawn were so hardcore in their dumping of dr. marlin! they really told him what's what. plus, they were crazily awesome while they were dating him, acting like total maniacs, being in love with a dunce, and coming up with gems like this one:

then, for being so hardcore, they just all of a sudden want to talk to him again? this is helpful to the hemingway complex, as it adds a lot of leeway - basically, one can exhibit any behavior one wants, and still be following the guidelines. it's great. like say a suitor wants to meet up with you again late at night after some too-long amount of time. one could be outraged, cause a scene, and say stuff like "healer of hearts, breaker of mine" and make "talk-to-the-hand" hand gestures, or one could call up that suitor and be sorry for the way one left things, like it was one's fault! amazingly liberating. can't wait til dawn gets wind of this. will they suddenly, independently have the urge to go horseback riding again? or will it be the early bird special at the bum boat?maybe vera will be all, dr. marlin, you are a successful dr. or professional, why don't you have a top sheet/working bathroom light?

also, if vera is pregnant, moy and giella gots to learn how to draw kids, not just mini sized adults in baseball caps like this creepy fellow:

also, do they think there is some type of baseball cap minimum to adhere to in terms of

background characters? like, what?

wish the hemingway complex luck, we have a date tonight!!

the next plot twist

"Drew, I'm pregnant."

shut up mary/drew tries to get high

you'll note that as mary waxes poetic about past events, toby is desperately trying to cover her ears, while communicating silently with her eyes to that squirrel - pounce, now! sersly mary! you've been talking about animals loving with simplicity and purity since 10/31/2007! and, for as much as you heart animals, you can give em up on a dime to sadistic strangers who name their pets lame names! you just reminded us yesterday about how giving you are. i hope you disposed of your magical coffee cup in the proper receptacle. anyhoo, new year, new topic!











we here at the hemingway complex were thinking we might see mr. marlin shirt this year. hope that dawn weston will also be back soon to inspire us all with her spunky, no-nonsense approach to dating and romance. memo to dr. drew: you might get more high if you didn't run in jeans.

An Apology

Dearest Readers,

We, the Hemingway Complex, owe you, our readership, a big apology for our absence from the blog. Do not think that we have gone anywhere, or decided to forego sharing our insights, or that our fascination with Mary Worth has somehow ended (especially do not think that, because such a thing is not even possible). No, we have been in such a state of shock from Mary's recent actions that we have been unable to even pry our fingers from our keyboard and type these urgent messages.

Here's a quick rundown of what has transpired of late (the Hemingway Complex has a bottle of smelling salts next to our computer, should we be overcome while looking at these astonishing strips):

On Christmas, when the rest of the comics world gathered their characters together with jaunty scarves and mugs of cocoa to wish us the warmest of holidays, here's what Moy and Giella came up with:

Holidays greetings, indeed. Then Mary challenges the guy on the phone to prove that Chester is really his. Instead of coming up with vet records or his microchip papers, this is his response:

A normal person might be like "Whatever, prank caller," especially at Charterstone, because in this world there is no such thing as a gun. Not Mary!

MARY KILLED CHESTER!

Then she decides to give him back. Before she does, she spends a lot of time talking to her sudden BFF Toby about her feelings.

I guess they're having scones for tea, but why's Toby eating it with a spoon? Mary's like, "That's all you're allowed to have, since you put these terrible events into motion." Notice that in the second panel we're viewing them from the other side, as though we are standing in the corner. So why are we facing a wall several feet away? Also, that was a real quick shirt switcharoo from Mary.

Next, we have returned the dog at Hudson Dog Park:

Off goes Chester. On goes Mary about the virtues of animals in people's lives. And out comes a coffee cup from Mary's empty hand.

Mary's Premonition

Friends, hold on, because you are never going to believe this. Like the Hemingway Complex, you probably assumed that New Country Road, site of Mary's long ride through the countryside, labelled by Toby as "a good place to think", and the scene of Chester's . . . whatever befell Chester, was a figment of the limitless imagination of Giella and Moy. I mean, that's what makes sense.

But tonight, as Hemingway Complex watched Premonition, we recieved the shock of our life. Because there in the fiery climax, which even if you just saw the previews you will recall as the scene in which a semi blindsides a car as it explodes and Sandra Bullock is running down the rural highway toward it screaming and you are holding your breath thinking holy crap - there in the background is a street with a sign labelling it New Country Road.

I know! I know! We are beside ourselves! Because this means that all that time, Mary was bicycling through the world of the collective imagination, and that at any moment she could've collided with a tanker truck which for all we know was also in the imagination of the imagined character of Sandra Bullock. AND that that's what happened to Chester! He was injured in a Hollywood stunt! Chester was a casualty of Premonition.

bum boat and relationship pitfalls

1. Either jeff can't park at all, or some other dunce is about to drive really slowly into the bumboat! omg!!!!

2. Mary, never date a guy who says "folks."

3. Also, does Mary drink alcohol?

"Bless you, dear."

Oh, goodness. First Toby tells her to give her new pet back. Then Jeff is allergic . . . and within MINUTES of walking into her house he tells her to choose between him and it! Between Jeff and the dog! Between a boyfriend she hardly sees since she "rescued" him from Vietnam on the psychic's advice (New readers: Check out them archives. That shit is magical!) and the pet she's been crediting with life-healing properties, who she maybe has already killed Toby in order to keep. Just what kind of position does Dr. Jeff Cory think he's in? Perhaps he is feeling extra desirable because he just dyed his hair? It used to be two-tone, grey and brown; now he has silver highlights. Anyway, weren't they about to go out to dinner? I thought we were headed back to the Bum Boat.

Hey, and check out the arm chub in panel two. Suddenly Mary has elephantiasis over there. Maybe that's why she's been wearing this same outfit for several days - she can't get out of it! Whew - she's not manic after all. By the way, what on earth is behind her head?